Covid Days: Minimizing friction in close quarters

My daughter and I had "The Big Covid 19 Discussion" about how we were going to manage an indefinite period of isolation in close quarters together. We came up with this list which she has transcribed for anyone who is interested.

Most importantly, let's realise it will be impossible to avoid friction entirely, however we can take steps to keep it to a minimum.

1. Remember that the other person is not a mind reader – if you aren’t sure what the other means, ask politely. If there is a misunderstanding, don’t apportion blame, just work it out between yourselves.
2. If the other person appears irritable, take a moment to recognise that it may not be about you.
3. Take a moment before responding – this is IMPORTANT!
4. Remember, we are not multi-taskers!!! One instruction at a time, otherwise it is confusing and stressful.
5. If someone is engaged in a task, realise they may need time to finish that task before moving on to the next thing.
6. Words/phrases to avoid: “Well – “(said defensively).
7. THINK before acting
8. No SUDDEN moves
9. No snatching!!!
10. Knock before entering a room
11. Put aside whatever you’re doing in that moment and give your full attention to the other person if they want it.
12. Modulate tone of voice and facial expressions when conscious of it, but DON’T suppress feelings. We know that VENTING is important, and we can work it out. After every storm, there is a rainbow.
13. If grievances arise, take a breath and air it calmly. Do NOT bottle it up. If you hold it in, it will only EXPLODE later.
14. Respect the other’s need for space. If they say they need some down time, then respect their wishes. They will find you again when they are ready.
15. Remember to use the magic word when requesting that something be done.

Remember, our moods and interests are not always in harmony. Sometimes we may not be able to enjoy what the other is enjoying – though often we do! It’s temporary, not the end of the world

And finally, enjoy dancing, singing, laughing, and telling stories together!

Through a glass screen, darkly. Coronavirus thoughts

After 7 decades of frenetic rebuilding after the unique horrors of  World War II, Nature has reasserted itself, and is forcing us to take a Sabbatical.  

With all our human ingenuity and creativity, we have accelerated to excess, as we in the advanced capitalist world have failed to exercise enough self-discipline and self-reflection, thinking there was always going to be more, more more. 

We now have the time to reflect on how we came to be at this junction. Here we find ourselves, isolated cells sitting alone in a network of cables, seeing the world and our friends literally “through a glass, darkly”. 

Perhaps this pause will cause us to think creatively about ways forward, although IMO we need less "creativity" and more "receptivity". 

In my sociology days, as I became disillusioned by the simplistic binary division then in vogue, between the "social" and "medical" models, I came to envisage “Culture” as a rubber band attached to “Nature”. 

With all our ingenuity, we can only pull away so far before the band snaps us back. 

Or breaks.

We now wait and see who will bend and who will be broken.

Crisis, opportunity. The world turns. I wish I could pray to a Parent Figure in the sky to fix it for us, myself, my near and dear, and my ever-widening circles, but its now time to wish everyone well, watch and wait, and hope we all weather this somehow and get some wisdom in the process

Crisis, opportunity.