Satire 1998: NT Social Skills Deficiencies : a case study

I wrote the piece below, a send-up of exploitative research practices,  in 1998 for Muskie's Website, Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical (ISNT).  It has since disappeared from the internet, but has fortunately been conserved by one Eric Engdahl.

This piece does not necessarily reflect my current views

NT Social Skills Deficiencies: A Case Study

Below is a prototype of an NT-afflicted researcher's request, inspired by a recent example posted to a mailing list:

URGENT NOTICE TO LIST MEMBERS!

Facsimile of my
original article

I am a post-graduate at X University, and I'm in a hurry to find a hot new research topic so that I can impress my peers and professors, and move on to a brilliant career managing people just like you.

I discovered your fascinating disability through the family of a cousin of a friend of a friend. I am deeply moved by the plight of all you unfortunates, and I am determined that your situation should be brought to the notice of every relevant government authority, health professional and psychotherapist in need of extra funding or a new specialty.

You will not be troubled with all the details of the purposes of my research, and you may rest assured that you will never hear from me again once I've finished extracting your information.

Please take a few hours to fill in as fully as you can:

1. What is wrong with your child?
2. List all his/her problem behaviours since infancy
3. List all the ways in which you are unable to cope as a parent
4. Include here a review of any literature that you have found useful to be included in my bibliography.

In order to be allowed to participate in this research, you will be expected to make your child available for extensive blood tests, genetic tests, IQ tests, and personality tests.

Naturally we need to be certain that your child is a bona-fide sufferer from this disability, and we will be scrutinising you carefully for signs of abusive parenting and Munchhausen syndrome.

You will be notified as to when to present yourself at our clinic.

Thanking you in advance etc

-Judy Singer, jsinger @ acs.itd.uts.edu.au 

NB: 

• while the ISNT website appears to be defunct, the facsimile can be viewed here. 
• The claim that ISNT owns the copyright to my piece is erroneous. As the author, I am the copyright holder.
• the above email address has long disappeared. It was my original email in 1998 while I was writing my sociology honours thesis

Satire 1998: What to do if you suspect your child has Neurotypical Disorder

I wrote this in 1998 for Muskie's Website, ISNT, Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical. It has since disappeared from the internet, but has fortunately been conserved by one Eric Engdahl.

This does not reflect my current views. 

Facsimile of
original article

What to do if you suspect your child has NT

First, don't panic!

Nowadays due to diagnostic advances, early intervention and carefully tailored behavioural management techniques, there is no reason why your child can not grow into an independent social being, develop a TOOM (Theory of Other Minds), and in time, even develop some special interests and abilities to contribute to society.

While Medical Science currently holds out little hope for any great improvements in perceptual abilities such as hearing acuity, touch sensitivity, etc, it is still possible for NT children to enjoy the limited senses that they do have.

Rote drills such as Applied Behaviour Analysis with their easily understood regimen of repetitiveness and punishment will do wonders with common NT behaviours such as lying, teasing and faddishness.

AS scientists are currently working on a new range of wonder-drugs - Swarming Inhibitors (SI's) which it is hoped will prevent some of the more anti-social manifestations of NT such as a tendency to congregate in mobs, engage in vicious group character assassinations of outsiders, and in the extreme case to actually incite each other to mass acts of violence and destruction such as wars, pogroms, lynch mobs and the like.

-Judy Singer, jsinger @ acs.itd.uts.edu.au 

NB: 

• while the ISNT website appears to be defunct, the facsimile can be viewed here. 
• The claim that ISNT owns the copyright to my piece is erroneous. As the author, I am the copyright holder.
• the above email address has long disappeared. It was my original email in 1998 while I was writing my sociology honours thesis

BTW, my understanding of copyright law is that the copyright is mine as the author, not ISNT's